6 responses to “Their heart just stopped: Living through a Missed Miscarriage”

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    Rai, your ability to articulate the unspeakable is so tangible and raw. I appreciate your honesty and courage thank you from the bottom of my heart for finding the words. I am so emotional after reading this, it was so similar to Paul and I losing Little One before the safe arrival of Iluka.

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    Thank you, Rai. I connected with your story. I send you an enveloping hug through my tears. You find words to express experiences beyond words, and I’m grateful for you and your gifts. Love, to you, Joel, Thea Mae, and Space Baby.

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    Dear Rai,

    I have a lump in my throat after reading your story, so well written. I can totally relate to what you meant about sharing humour and intimacy whilst sitting on the loe miscarrying. Like you, my partner was there for me and we did chat and he made me smile between the traumatic events of my miscarriage.

    There is so much more to a miscarriage than you can ever imagine before you have one. It makes it hard to not feel alone when people think it’s kust like having a heavy period! I was 10 weeks along and the baby passed around seven weeks but the amount of bleeding and massive clots was almost unbelievable, especially when the doctors said i had passed about 30 percent. The urge to push and contractions and pain when my cervix wouldn’t open to release pressure if the clots was like about of body experience. I could hear myself grunting and pushing whilst they tried to relieve the pain and also me not knowing how much was physical pain and whether it was my distress over losing my baby.

    I hope I haven’t grossed you out too much but like you I feel talking/ writing about it helps. I feel less alone sharing. I’ve told a few friends and burst into tears randomly whilst collecting my eldest from school and told others then, it did help.

    Congratulations on the birth of your little girl. Spacebaby will always be with you and the same with my little one for me. It really makes me appreciate my two little girls even more now. They are little miracles, we all are really.


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    I am unfortunately experiencing this right now. I don’t quite know how to process it. Having had an ultrasound at a little over 6 weeks and seeing a heartbeat had me sure that everything was going to be fine. Only to be told a few weeks later that the baby had stopped growing shortly after that ultrasound and no longer had a heartbeat. My partner and I are inconsolable at our loss of a baby that was so wanted. Thankyou for your honest account of what I still have to come. Our baby technically died 3 weeks ago, but my body has yet to recognise this, so I expect I may need treatment to assist us in the loss. Congratulatons on now having a new addition to your family. I hope Jonathan and I are as lucky.

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