Rachel Waddingham - Behind The Label
Recovery from psychosis, trauma & dissociation
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Suicide

It's there in the crunch of the autumn leaves: living with my friend's suicide

It’s there in the crunch of the autumn leaves: living with my friend’s suicide

Today marks the 18-year anniversary of the suicide of one of my closest friends – Susan. As I type these words my eyes sting and my heart feels heavy. I was walking my dog earlier and found my heart beating in two times. In the first I am walking in 2020, noticing the crunch of the autumn leaves beneath my feet. In the second it is 2002. The leaves are different – they crunch underneath my feet as I’m walking to her flat.

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Tags: Grief, Suicide, Surviving

Tonight The Grief Is With Me

Tonight The Grief Is With Me

Today I walk through the world with a deep and open wound. It’s a pain that leaves me feeling both full to breaking point with a deep sadness and curiously empty. It is as if my feelings are huddled in the corner, snuggled up with Schrödinger’s Cat – simultaneously there and not there. As I […]

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Tags: Acceptance, Grief, Healing, Loss, Suicide

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About Me

Hi. My name’s Rai. I hear voices, see visions and have a whole host of unusual experiences that have, at times, overwhelmed me. Once labelled as ‘severely & enduringly mentally ill’, I am now an independent trainer specialising in innovative ways of supporting people who struggle with extreme states (including ‘psychosis’, ‘dissociation’ and post traumatic reactions).

Recent Updates

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  • VT. Me as an ‘inspirational mom’ diagnosed with schizophrenia

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