Their heart just stopped: Living through a Missed Miscarriage
I started this article trying to write about the day I found out Space Baby had died, only to realise that I did not have a landmark moment to articulate. There was no definitive scan, no blood and no kindly professional sitting me down to tell me of our loss. I do not know when our baby died, only that I accepted their death in small increments with each consecutive appointment. The day hope left, more than a week before the physical miscarriage itself, I remember leaving Joel at the train station and heading up to Manchester to speak at a mental health conference as if everything was OK. That night I sat in isolation amongst friends and allies, drinking my first beer in months.
My Baby, Psychosis & Me: A lesson in how not to make a documentary about mental health
Earlier this year, after my own miscarriage, I settled down on the sofa to watch ‘My Baby, Psychosis & Me’ – a BBC documentary on the journey of two women through a Specialist Mother & Baby Unit. Watching it so recently after my own loss was always going to be painful – yet the issue […]
Tonight The Grief Is With Me
Today I walk through the world with a deep and open wound. It’s a pain that leaves me feeling both full to breaking point with a deep sadness and curiously empty. It is as if my feelings are huddled in the corner, snuggled up with Schrödinger’s Cat – simultaneously there and not there. As I […]
Short Thought #2: Get to Know your Voices
Short Thought #2: Get To Know Your Voices from Rai Waddingham on Vimeo. This is the second in my video ‘shorts’. This one explores some of the different ways people can use their creativity to explore their voices and the often complex relationships they have with them. To me, this is a very important topic […]
Breaking The Silence: Supporting Young People who Hear Voices
Harry: Do you think I should have told them? Dumbledore and the others, I mean. Ron: Are you mad? Hermione: No, Harry. Even in the wizarding world, hearing voices isn’t a good sign. – Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. In the last few years I’ve developed a sincere admiration for those youth workers […]
Me & The Meds: The Story of a Dysfunctional Relationship
This article first appeared in Mad in America (www.madinamerica.com). The use of medication in mental health services is a hot issue. Despite the paucity of evidence supporting its long-term efficacy, critiquing the use of ‘antipsychotic’ medication can be felt as a personal attack both on those who use it to manage distressing experiences and those […]
Short Thought #1: “Don’t Confront. Don’t Collude?”
Short Thought #1: ‘Don’t Confront, Don’t Collude?’ from Rai Waddingham on Vimeo. This is the first in a series of free ‘shorts’. This one explores the mantra, woven deep into psychiatric practice – the belief that we should neither confront nor collude with beliefs that are seen as ‘delusional’. In the video, I share some […]
Symptom or Experience: Does Language Matter?
Whenever we talk about ourselves we tell stories. Without these stories, our experiences would sit – unconnected – like a thousand tiny beads. Telling our story helps us to weave connections between these beads, linking them together with different threads to create a tapestry full of meaning. This is a fluid and continually evolving process. […]
The Schizophrenia Commission: A personal perspective
As someone who has lived experience of being diagnosed with schizophrenia (amongst other things) the release of the ‘Schizophrenia’ Commission Report has left me with very mixed feelings. First and foremost, I applaud the hard work of the members of the commission and all those who gave evidence and contributed to it. During the evidence-gathering […]
Voices Matter: Hearing Voices Movement
Between 19th & 21st September, hundreds of people from around the world descended on Cardiff, Wales, for the annual World Hearing Voices Congress. This annual event is one of the highlights of my year, and I feel very lucky to have had the opportunity to go every year since 2009. It’s a fantastic opportunity to […]
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